Loki Tries to Kill Captain America!
by GGMK
Summary: Isn't the title self-descriptive? Loki wants to kill Captain America to prove himself to Thanos. But it may be difficult... Somehow, things always get in the way... Crack-fic. I like Loki, but I will poke some fun at him and everyone else!
1. Chapter 1

Loki knew he had to kill Captain America. It shouldn't be that hard, really. He was only a pitiful human, and unlike that Iron Man guy, he didn't have a fancy suit of armor. The shield could be easily dealt with.

The reason for Loki wanting to do away with the good Captain? Well….

FLASHBACK

Loki had been chilling with the boss, Thanos, at some resort in Las Vegas. Thanos had gotten a coupon in the mail, and since their usual hangouts were dull and drab, they decided a little vacation couldn't hurt. To Loki's annoyance, that suck-up only known as The Other also got to come along!

So there they were, lounging around the pool (which they had all to themselves, since everyone had run away, for some odd reason…) when The Other dropped the bomb.

"Lord Thanos, I think Loki is too weak to defeat even one of the Avengers!"

Loki wasn't surprised. The Other was drunk, having raided the hotel's fridge, and Other always tried to make Loki out to be a fool. But not this time!

"Oh, and who have you defeated, oh mighty unnamed one?" Loki asked in a grand manner. He was quite the actor! The Other stuck his tongue out at Loki. Loki rolled his eyes at the Other's immature nature.

Thanos, who was trying to see how long he could hold his breath under the water, sighed. He wanted to be left alone so that he could drown himself!

"Very well. Loki, go kill one of these Avengers to prove yourself worthy. Other, shut up".

Loki gasped. He had to leave the Las Vegas resort? DARN THAT OTHER!

END FLASHBACK

And so Loki found himself in New York City, home of the Avengers, X-Men, Fantastic Four, and others. Loki wouldn't be surprised if a group called Super Dupers lived in the area. But it mattered not; Loki planned to make this a quick job. In and out.

Loki teleported inside Avengers Tower. If anyone was there, they probably would have choked on the green magical fumes. Loki looked around, and then paused when he heard an automated voice.

"Identify yourself. I am Jarvis, the butler."

Loki blinked. He didn't know that Tony had a talking tower. Thinking fast, he grabbed his magic staff, and fired a huge energy blast, destroying most of the tower. Loki grinned….until he realized that if Captain America wasn't home yet…he would be on the alert.

"Blast, that disembodied voice fooled me. This will not stand…" In disgust, Loki warped to McDonald's, the only place that was known to serve supervillains. Just last week, Whiplash had ordered eight burgers. He must have been famished!

After having six servings of large fries, Loki's mood had grown much better. It was no big deal; he could easily kill the Captain another day. He briefly considered killing Black Widow or Hawkeye; but no, that wouldn't be good enough to prove himself to Thanos! The Other would scoff!

Loki headed to the next place he figured Captain America would be – Avenger's Mansion. Because, obviously, the team needed two bases! Instead of stepping on the perfectly mowed lawn, Loki did his teleporting trick, and ended up in the bathroom. Black Widow was inside. She screamed.

A few minutes later, Loki was in the basement, trying to collect his thoughts. That hadn't gone well!

"How was I supposed to know that I would end up in the restroom? I just warped randomly. Why, oh why couldn't that American Captain have been inside instead?" Loki realized that talking with himself was probably a bad sign…

Still, he would not give up! He would find and kill Capt. America…or die trying! Lifting his fists in the air, Loki let out a war roar! Nearby, a chipmunk threw a nut at him.

Meanwhile, Thanos and The Other were having a drinking contest. Thanos was winning; The Other clearly couldn't hold his liquor!

**To Be Continued**

* * *

Well, it shouldn't be too hard for Loki to kill Captain America, right? Right? Well...


	2. Ravens and Arrows

Loki always had a Plan B. He knew how very important it was to have a back-up. One could hardly expect things to go swimmingly every single time. And Captain America was a slippery foe. If Loki wanted to kill him, he'd have to be very, very smart about it. Of course, Loki didn't exactly lack brain power.

Now that the Avenger's base was destroyed, and since Black Widow was out to get him, he would also need to be sneaky, which was also something Loki could pull of very well. At the moment, he had used his magic to transform himself into a raven.

Flying over Manhattan, Loki kept a bird's-eye view (heh heh) out for the Captain. There were just so many…people scurrying about, probably trying to get somewhere to do something unimportant. Oh, humans had such boring lives. Maybe he was doing Capt. America a favor by killing him. No more fighting for his life, no more whining about his girlfriend married someone else, no more crying about Bucky, etc.

Loki was lost in his thoughts when an arrow zoomed past him. _What?_

* * *

Hawkeye and Black Widow had been hanging out at Central Park. Hawkeye wanted to show off a new arrow he had built. That's how he impressed all the chicks.

"So, this new arrow can bend mid-flight. I can aim it left, and after I fire it, it'll turn right. It takes lots of practice AND muscle!"

Black Widow looked uninterested.

Hawkeye pouted. "Look, I'll show you. Up there, see? A large raven. That'll be my target!" And with that, he aimed at the black raven, and fired. It zoomed past the raven, who let out a large squawk.

Black Widow raised an eyebrow. "You missed, Clint". Hawkeye sighed. She was so critical.

"No, I didn't. It titled out of the way, like I explained. Pretty cool, right?" Hawkeye grinned. Black Widow crossed her arms.

"I bet Steve could have done that, seeing how he throws that shield of his…"

Hawkeye's mouth fell open. After a moment of silence, he threw his bow on the ground, sat down, and started weeping. Steve? _STEVE_? Natasha and Steve were on a first-name basis? He couldn't compete with that!

Black Widow rolled her eyes, and prepared to leave, when she heard a THUMP noise behind her. She turned around – and came face to face with Loki!

* * *

After the arrow narrowly avoided stabbing him, Loki grew upset. A mortal dared to hunt him for sport? The foolish human would soon learn the error of his ways. Transforming back into his handsome old self, he landed on the ground – and came face to face with Black Widow, who immediately pointed a gun at his head!

Loki lifted his hand in front of his face in a peace gesture. "You wouldn't really shoot me, would you?" Widow gave him a mean, nasty look.

"You must die", she stated calmly, and fired bullets.

* * *

Hours later, Loki was lying in a ditch. He had managed to dodge most of the bullets, but one had lodged in his leg. He could easily heal the wound, but OH, the pain! That witch had injured him! And he still hadn't located that elusive Captain America!

"Oh, woe is me! I am injured, the American Captain remains hidden, and Thanos and Other are probably having a blast!" Loki mumbled to himself.

* * *

Thanos and Other were watching movie in a dark cinema. Thanos was sniffing. Other looked at him oddly.

"Sir, are you crying?" he asked hesitantly. Thanos smacked him.

"NO, no I'm not! Leave me alone", Thanos yelled. Other walked out of the theater. He had known seeing _Titanic_ was a bad idea!

**To Be Continued!**

* * *

Author's Notes: Has anyone else seen _Captain America: The Winter Soldier_? Its is GREAT! The best solo MCU film so far! WATCH IT!


	3. The Hotel

Trudging through the sewers was beneath a god. That was what flashed through Loki's mind as he traversed the watery-roads of the underground. Since flying like a bird didn't work, an even sneakier tactic had to be used.

Loki had studied the maps very closely before going on his journey. A few more turns, and he'd be under the Make Mine Marvel hotel, where Steve Rogers was supposedly staying for a few weeks. Loki knew this was his chance.

"That fool will never see what hits him", Loki murmured to himself. He was already playing the speech he'd give Thanos and The Other after the deed was done.

"Oh, it wasn't so difficult. Of course, for a god like me, nothing really is. It was fun sport while it lasted I suppose. Oh, Other, are you sniffling? Oh, it's alright to be embarrassed by my excellent accomplishment. Thanos, you want to retire, and put me in charge? Well, how can I say no?"

Loki had to stop himself. It would be no good to count his chickens before they hatched, as the humans said. After a few more minutes of silence, and unpleasant smell, and seeing a body float down the stream, Loki reached a manhole cover that, if his calculations were on the money, would lead him to his prey.

Loki blasted the manhole cover with a green energy blast emitted from his scepter. He never got around to naming it.

Levitating up, Loki peeked around the rim. A few people were lounging around the lobby, not really doing much of anything. It seems the Captain would be up in his room. Now Loki just had to find out which room that was!

Loki was no computer hacker, so that left more…physical means. He could teleport into every single room…but he had no wish to see someone else showering again. Loki shuddered; that Black Widow was fierce!

Shifting into an elderly man look, Loki hobbled over to the reception desk. The lady at the desk, who was chewing bubble gum, looked up, annoyed. Loki flashed a winning grin, before remembering he was an old man with pretty bad teeth.

"Ma'am, I'm an old war veteran, here to see my old pal Steve Rogers. Do you think you could be kind enough to tell me his room number?" Loki asked, almost cringing at his rough voice. The lady popped a bubble.

"Buzz off, creep. No one gets to ask for room numbers. Are you a deviant?" she asked rudely, before turning her chair around to watch an _Iron Man_ movie on her small television screen. Loki fumed. How DARE some human woman say these things to him!

A flash of light later, and Loki was walking down the hallway, humming. If anyone were to go to the front desk, they'd see a rather ugly frog watching a _Thor_ film. Back in good spirits, Loki decided to just wander the halls for a few hours. Surely, Rogers would leave his room for a lunch or bathroom break. Loki wondered if he sprinkled when he tinkled.

"Locating this American hero is much harder than it sounds", Loki mused to himself. To think, if he could just locate the shield-carrying hero, his job would be ten times easier!

* * *

Thanos and the Other were at Disney Land!

"Let's ride the roller coaster, the highest one" Thanos said, not fearing death (or heights), so this was perfect. The Other tried to edge away, but Thanos grabbed him.

"Sir…why don't we stick with calm rides…like the Ferris Wheel? I think –" he was interrupted by Thanos slapping him.

"We are going on the roller coaster", Thanos snarled. Other nodded his head.

**To Be Continued**

* * *

Author's Comments: That poor lady. She should have been nicer. And meanwhile, at least some villains are getting to have fun!

_Captain America: The Winter Soldier_ is the best Marvel solo film so far! Not quite as good as _Avengers_ - but what is? Still, I think Winter Soldier will be the best film this year. Next up on the MCU front: _Guardians of the Galaxy_, this May. So, to everyone reading this: go watch it, and tell your friends, promote it! Guardians needs support!


	4. Peggy Carter

NOTE: STORY CONTAINS MILD SPOILERS FOR _CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER_!

* * *

But this was intolerable. Loki had spent the last few hours wandering the halls and stairways of the Make Mine Marvel hotel, and his patience was at its final moments. Even turning that annoying female into a frog had only been satisfying for about twenty minutes. Loki needed sport!

After turning the corner, Loki spied a bear laying on top of some man, and two little girls holding hands in a creepy manner. Annoyed (why couldn't the man have been Capt. America, for Odin's sake?), Loki teleported out of the hotel. He wasn't even sure he ever wanted to return. Hang it all, he would murder the American Captain some other way!

After buying a hot dog from some smelly vendor, Loki sat at a bench to collect his thoughts. The afternoon sun shone on his face, causing it to glimmer. Loki swore that if someone called him a vampire, he'd blast them. Some birds flew towards Loki's boots, hoping to get some crumbs. Loki smirked to himself.

That is when the idea hit him! He knew that the Captain had a girlfriend of sorts! However, finding her whereabouts, or even learning her name, could be difficult. Then again, it would probably be in a newspaper or something.

"Scatter, you petty feathered creatures! I, Loki, now have a plan. No more aimless wandering for me", Loki said, ignoring the shocked looks he got from passerby. One lady grabbed her child and ran.

Loki headed towards a museum when he knew Captain America had his own exhibit. It was foolish, the things these humans built temples around. Where was HIS exhibit?

Entering the museum, Loki was blasted with cold air, probably from an air-conditioner. Not that it mattered; Loki, being a frost giant, was immune to such trifling things. Besides, he need pay it no mind; he had important matters to attend to.

A computerized voice caught Loki's attention.

"Steve was a wonderful man. He helped end the war, and he kicked Red Skull's crimson butt. Oh, what a man. Too bad he died. Well, whatever. I got married again. Cheers!"

Loki walked towards the voice, and saw a television screen, with a female speaking in it. The bottom corner of the screen read "Peggy Carter". So she was the mysterious girlfriend! Loki grinned…until he wasn't.

"Wait…so she married someone else? BLAST, now I can't use her to find my prey!" Loki grumbled to himself. Pausing, he thought. Even if she wasn't currently dating the Captain…she could still know his whereabouts!

In triumph, Loki dashed from the museum, knocking over some security guards, and at least one mummy.

* * *

The nursing home, True Believers, was pretty sparse. Not too big, but not too small. Loki assumed most of the patients weren't complaining, though. Shifting his form into that of a nursing aide, Loki ventured inside. It didn't take long to find Peggy's room. It was apparently the most-visited in the ward.

Once inside the room, Loki shifted back into his true form, and closed the door behind him. Walking up to Peggy, Loki shook her awake. She got up with a start, eyes wide.

"Woman, you will tell me what I wish to know. If you do not, there will be consequences", Loki warned her. Peggy covered her mouth with her frail hands.

"Who are you?" she asked timidly. Loki laughed at her ignorance.

"I am Loki, one of the coolest gods of Asgard. Even Thor kneels to me!" Loki exclaimed, getting in a pose. Peggy didn't seem very impressed though. She didn't even clap. Loki sighed.

"OK, fine. Just tell me where Steve Rogers is", Loki said wearily. Peggy tilted her head.

"Who? I don't think I know a Steve Rogers…" she trailed off. Loki quickly ran to the foot of her bed, and read her medical files. Skimming through it, Loki slammed it down in anger. She wouldn't be able to help him….

* * *

Meanwhile, at Disney Land, The Other was feeling sick. Thanos had made him go on all the scary rides, and they left him drained. How did Thanos do it? He flinched as Thanos sat next to him on the bench. He was wearing a large "I heart Disney" short. It barely fit, though.

"I hunger. Other, find me some food. A cold drink would be fine, too."

Grumbling, The Other walked away, hoping that Loki was suffering right now!

**To Be Continued!**

* * *

Author's Notes: The scene with Peggy in _Winter Soldier_ was pretty sad. But don't worry: for those who don't know, Peggy Carter will be getting her own TV mini-series on ABC next year, apparently.

And did anyone notice _The Shining_ reference?

And thanks to Rufescent for the story's first review! It means a lot! Glad you like it! To be honest, I'm trying to stall Loki and Cap's meeting! When they meet, it'll be big!


	5. Loki's Concert

Loki had killed Coulson. It had been pretty darn easy, too! One stab, and it was all over. Sure, Coulson had managed to blast him with some unknown gun, but it wasn't a big deal. No one else had even been there, so it's not like anyone could use that as blackmail material against Loki.

Captain America, being just as human as Coulson was, should also be as easy to kill as the agent. But Captain America was elusive; the coward must fear for his life. That fact stroked Loki's ego.

"Well, of course the Captain is running away", Loki mused to himself. "I would hide, too, if I were coming after me." Loki's idle thoughts got blown away by the sound of music. It was pleasing to the ear, so Loki followed the melodious tune.

There was a concerto going on at Central Park. No singing, just pure music, featuring trumpets, and violins, and other things that Loki had seen the musicians play in the halls of Asgard. It made Loki nostalgic, the music washing over him. He could almost forget about Captain America. But then Loki's eyes snapped open! He had an idea!

Captain America, he had heard, enjoyed old American songs, the kind that were sung during the Great Wars. Maybe, if Loki could set up a concert featuring such songs, the Captain would crawl out of his hole to make an appearance. Loki would then strike him down!

"As usual, my plans amaze even me. I'm just too crafty!" Loki crowed, not noticing some losers throwing tomatoes at the musicians. In a huff, the musicians threw their instruments at the crowd, seriously injuring some. When the ruckus had ended, there was carnage and blood. Loki paid that no mind; the instruments had caught his eye.

Loki snapped his fingers, and in a puff of green smoke, all the modern instruments had been transformed into their older incarnations.

"I love magic. Thank Odin I wasn't born human", Loki said to himself. Now he had to find some people to play the instruments. He had a hunch that the people who had just been playing wouldn't do it, so he had to find someone else. He would only accept the very best. Even if the whole thing was a charade, Loki still demanded perfection!

* * *

A few days later, and Loki had decided to do a "If you want it done right, do it yourself" plan. Making some clones of himself, he went to work building a stage, if you could call snapping your fingers work. He put around flyers, posted on Twitter, and generally told everyone within hearing range that there would be a spanking cool retro concert at Town Hall.

The night air was crisp. The lights on and around the stage has created an almost eerie glow. There was a surprisingly large audience, all waiting to be entertained and amazed. Loki, peeking behind the curtain, grinned.

Launching himself in front of the stage, Loki and his clones began to play their hardest. The songs were simple, and from the good old days. They even did a snappy rendition of Yankee Doodle Dandy! The audience was screaming and clapping. One elderly lady fainted. No one seemed to notice (or care) that all four men on stage were identical.

The music went on for hours, the raw energy and excitement keeping Loki going. He had long forgotten that he came to murder someone. Eventually, one of his copies had to remind him.

"Psst. Other me, I need to tell you to remember your mission. You've lost your way. We must kill Captain America". Loki frowned.

"SHUT UP, YOU'RE JUST A CLONE, YOU CAN'T BOSS ME AROUND!", and with that, Loki lunged at the copy and began to punch him in the face. The other two Lokis jumped in. The crowd screamed and dispersed.

Irritated, Loki screamed, "ENOUGH!", and snapped his fingers, causing the other three Lokis to disappear. Breathing hard, Loki looked around. Everyone had left, and the stage was ruined.

"Well, I didn't see the Captain in the audience anyway…", Loki muttered as he walked away, not realizing that Steve Rogers had indeed been in the audience, having been invited by Tony Stark and Pepper Potts.

* * *

Meanwhile, The Other was feeling sick. He had eaten too much cotton candy! And yet Thanos was still stuffing his face! How could he find the room?

"Waiter? Second, _now_!" Thanos growled at some poor lady. The Other looked on in horror.

**To Be Continued**


	6. BuckyWinter Soldier

WARNING! CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLDIER!

* * *

Loki was on a bridge in Central Park, throwing crumbs absently at some silly birds. After all, he had nothing better to do. Frankly, he was discouraged. Captain America kept evading him, he hadn't had a bath in months, his own clones were getting rebellious, and he was scared what Odin would tell him if he ever decided to go home. All that aside, Thanos probably wouldn't let him stop, and the Other would gloat something fierce.

Loki knew that his earlier plan of drawing Captain America to the concert was a solid one. It failed, but still, it was a valiant effort.

"Maybe", Loki mused, "I need some more appetizing bait. Surely, something as simple as food or money would not suffice. But what else is there?" Loki thought and thought, and even when the birds all flew off in boredom, Loki thought. Finally, a grin crept on his face.

* * *

Bucky Barnes, formerly the Winter Soldier, was keeping a low profile at some dusty museum. He visited once a day, sometimes more, to read about himself and Steve. He had already read everything at least five times, but he couldn't stop! Call it an obsession, but he had to come back each time. It's a good thing no one recognized him, or they would have called SHIELD or Steve or something.

Entering the building, Bucky nodded at the female receptionist, who gave him an annoyed, "not AGAIN" look. Whoops. Maybe someone did recognize him.

"Easy, Bucky. Just breathe, calm your nerves, and think of murder. HEY, no, wait, that's what Zola told me to do. Bad, Bucky, BAD!" Bucky slapped himself. The receptionist rolled her eyes.

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the room, and the front doors blew down. Bucky rolled behind a pillar, while the receptionist hid behind the counter. Grabbiing an oversized rifle from his pockets (!), he peeked from behind the pillar, trying to get a visual at the target. If it was Steve, he wouldn't shoot. If it was a SHIELD goon….well, maybe he would.

* * *

Loki entered the museum, sneering at the paintings and murals hanging from the walls. Asgard was so much cooler looking. Humans were quaint, which was only one of the reasons they were so awful. Captain America was the worst of them, but the rest weren't much better. Hawkeye and Widow were annoying, Bruce Banner was a creep, and Nick Fury was a meanie bossy pants.

Deciding to move past the paintings, Loki started to walk around the lobby. With his luck, Bucky would be hiding downstairs or something. Before Loki could ponder this further, a bullet whizzed past his head, and entered one of the ugly paintings. Loki felt it was just. Still, whoever had fired at him would be in big trouble!

Loki teleported behind Bucky. Thinking fast, Bucky rolled aside, narrowly dodging Loki's staff. Getting to his feet, Bucky dashed towards the stairs. Loki sighed.

"Running will do you no good. I can teleport, I can make clones, and I can use magic to track you. How do you think you can escape? Honestly…"

Loki followed Bucky, yawning. This was too much trouble to catch Captain America, but the end result would be worth it.

Bucky headed to the basement, where there would be more places to hide and launch a sneak attack. Entering the dark room, Bucky let his eyes adjust…but there was nothing there. Everything was gone!

"Looking for things to scurry under like a rat? I took the liberty of removing all object beforehand", Loki explained, appearing behind Bucky. Bucky backed up.

"What do you want with me", Bucky asked. "I haven't done anything to you, and I left HYDRA." Loki smirked.

"I could care less about HYDRA. I need you as bait for Captain America", Loki said slowly, as if explaining to a child. Bucky glared at Loki.

"Your plan won't work! Steve doesn't give in to terrorist threats! Besides, how will you tell him that you've captured me?" Loki paused. He supposed he could just put posters around. That didn't work for the concert, though…

"Besides, I'm a traitor. I bet Steve wants nothing to do with me", Bucky said bitterly. Loki patted him on the back.

"There, there. I know that feel, bro", Loki sobbed. Together, the two men went to get a drink.

* * *

At some hotel somewhere, Other was trying to stay calm. Loki still wasn't back yet, the bills were piling up, and Thanos was…missing. Other took his eyes off him for one second, and this happens! Oh no!

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**Author's Notes**: Haha, in the end, Loki and Bucky were kindred spirits. I think Bucky is more repentant than Loki, but still!

And Thanos is missing! Ah!

To those who haven't seen _Winter Soldier_ yet (WHAT), see it now! Its great!

Meanwhile, for Thanos fans, Jim Starlin (the man who created Thanos, awesome author) is making some Thanos comics for the first time in maybe over ten years. The first, _Thanos Annual_, is coming out in a few weeks. Pick it up.


	7. Red Skull

Loki woke up with a wicked nasty hangover. Groaning, Loki sat up in his comfy bed at the Make Mine Marvel hotel. Rubbing his forehead, Loki tried to remember why he had been drunk last night, and then remembered.

_Oh yes. That party with Bucky. I never knew that man could dance like that, he looked so serious before. That's what alcohol will do, I suppose._

Loki shook his head. It didn't matter. He needed to come up with a new way to murder Captain America! Something that would make Loki one scary dude. Maybe it was time he team up with another villain, preferably one who also hated the Captain.

Loki tapped his finger against his chin. "Let's see, do I know any villains who would help me dispose of Captain America? Oh, of course! THAT man will do just fine…."

Getting up, Loki snapped his fingers, causing him to get dressed in a puff of green some, and then warp to a sub-space dimension. The sub-dimension was one of Thanos's personal little places, and he even gave Loki a pair of "keys", so to speak. The place was nice looking, Loki supposed. It was sort of blue, with sparkles and hues flying around all willy-nilly.

The center contained a large, wooden box. Anyone nearby would hear shouts and pleas coming from it. Loki smirked to himself, before grabbing the lid and shoving it open. When the lid was opened, a human figure stumbled out, coughing and gasping for breath. Loki rolled his eyes, and kicked the figure; he had no time for human weakness. The being looked up, his red face almost hiding his eyes.

"What do you want from me?" asked the…..Red Skull. Loki didn't know the full-story, but apparently, Thanos had found the nazi floating in space. Unlike Loki, Red Skull didn't want to help Thanos, so Thanos just locked him up in a box for many, many years. Loki had to admit, that was pretty cool.

"For the first time in your useless life, you actually have a chance of being useful, so listen up. I require your help, oh red-faced one", Loki answered Skull. Skull looked offended, not that it mattered much.

"How dare you speak to me that way! Why would you expect me to help you?" Skull yelled in anger, making his face possibly even more red. Loki was almost impressed, until he remembered that he could turn his own face blue.

"Oh, Red Skull, I thought you might say that before even hearing my proposal. I want your help in killing your adversary – Captain America. So, human, are you interested?" Loki stared Red Skull in the eyes, waiting for a reply, or even a rebuke. Red Skull didn't answer at first, but his eyes told Loki everything.

"Very well, Loki. I will help you. But know this….I do not work for you", Skull warned. Loki just nodded, because whatever, Skull said yes! Time to go kill a patriot!

* * *

Hours later, Loki was frustrated and angry and maybe embarrassed.

"You told me you'd be able to find Captain America, so pray tell, WHAT IS THE HOLD UP?" Loki screamed at Red Skull, who flinched. Skull stuttered for a second.

"Forgive me, but locating my nemesis was always the hard part, and besides, he always came to me, so…" Skull said, fishing for excuses. Loki didn't care, he just wanted results.

"So…you mean to tell me, that I freed you from your prison for nothing?" Loki asked in a dangerously quiet voice. Red Skull gulped.

"To be honest, even if we found him…I would not be of any help to you. I can't fight as well as you, I'm not smart enough to build weapons, and I'm generally useless. Just….DON'T TAKE ME BACK THERE!" Loki was disgusted, especially since this was actually partially his fault.

Snapping his fingers, Loki sent the sobbing Skull back to his sub-dimension prison. Sighing, Loki headed back to the hotel. The day was pretty much over, and Loki wanted to head in before it got even worse!

* * *

Thanos had decided he needed a break from The Other. It was time to explore Earth, even if he wasn't technically allowed! But where to go first? He had heard good things about Italy, and he hungered for some pizza, so off he went.

To Be Continued

Author's Notes: I'll be honest, I don't like Red Skull, which may explain why he loosed so bad here, lol. At this rate, Loki is doomed to never even find Captain America!

And Thanos is travelling. This can't end well...


End file.
